I had wondered, why it was hard 'to forgive' for some people but easy for others. It always hurt me, in fact, bugged me, when I saw people who couldn't forgive. Recently, a time came when I found myself in their shoes! Hard to forgive someone who tried backstabbing and pulling my legs down. I kept on asking the Lord, why is it hard now? Haven't I forgiven 'harder stuffs'?
Then He showed me, that, the time I used to forgive was the time in my life when I was soaked in His' love. I grew up as a christian, knowing Jesus to be my 'hero savior' but met my 'lover savior' at college. There, I lost myself to Him. His love for me, till then was in my heads but all of a sudden it was so real! Those were days of joy, overwhelming joy! Everything that happened to me, I knew His' hand behind it. Oh! how wonderful it was to just rest in His' love. I remember, one of my non-christian friends, in her frustration asking me, 'What's wrong with you guys? You guys love 'so much''! :) She knew not what we knew. She knew not that the source of our love was a river and giving drops here and there was out of the overflowing we received.
It dropped in as a revelation. I realized my first love has decreased. I've ceased trusting His' love blindly. Now I had grown logical and needed answers for many questions. Oh, Lord! I felt terrible. How I wished I could get back to being that kid in His' presence who would just trust His love and dive into His' river of love at every opportunity given.
"We love because He FIRST loved us" 1 John 4:19. It is His' love that enables me and you to love. If you don't receive it, how would you give? Believing in His' love and receiving His' love are two different things. I grew up believing, but receiving took me to a whole new level. A level where I chose to cling. His' river of love was always there, before I met Him, when I was soaked in Him and when I lost my first love for Him. He was always there waiting for me. The difference was my clinging on Him. I had to chose to dive in and get drenched!
Now, this took hold of me. I couldn't wait any longer. Just wanted to dive into the river and drink till I overflew. And yes! I jumped in. And lo, I got back to the 'sweet me'! :) Love for others flowed. Forgiving was not even a task.
Oh, what a love! that found us.
Then He showed me, that, the time I used to forgive was the time in my life when I was soaked in His' love. I grew up as a christian, knowing Jesus to be my 'hero savior' but met my 'lover savior' at college. There, I lost myself to Him. His love for me, till then was in my heads but all of a sudden it was so real! Those were days of joy, overwhelming joy! Everything that happened to me, I knew His' hand behind it. Oh! how wonderful it was to just rest in His' love. I remember, one of my non-christian friends, in her frustration asking me, 'What's wrong with you guys? You guys love 'so much''! :) She knew not what we knew. She knew not that the source of our love was a river and giving drops here and there was out of the overflowing we received.
It dropped in as a revelation. I realized my first love has decreased. I've ceased trusting His' love blindly. Now I had grown logical and needed answers for many questions. Oh, Lord! I felt terrible. How I wished I could get back to being that kid in His' presence who would just trust His love and dive into His' river of love at every opportunity given."We love because He FIRST loved us" 1 John 4:19. It is His' love that enables me and you to love. If you don't receive it, how would you give? Believing in His' love and receiving His' love are two different things. I grew up believing, but receiving took me to a whole new level. A level where I chose to cling. His' river of love was always there, before I met Him, when I was soaked in Him and when I lost my first love for Him. He was always there waiting for me. The difference was my clinging on Him. I had to chose to dive in and get drenched!
Now, this took hold of me. I couldn't wait any longer. Just wanted to dive into the river and drink till I overflew. And yes! I jumped in. And lo, I got back to the 'sweet me'! :) Love for others flowed. Forgiving was not even a task.
Oh, what a love! that found us.
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